


TR8R

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: I pretty much get struck with the weirdest bouts of inspiration, Other, nobody asked for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-10 20:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5599033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Traitor!” </p><p>Finn turned. He knew that voice; He knew it well. He could see the anger in the Storm Trooper's movements as the man strode towards him. He backed away, but there was no running. The rage was palpable, and Finn knew it was warranted. He deserved this rage, but he wasn't going to let it stop him. He had to get to Rey before it was too late. </p><p>---</p><p>Self-Indulgent backstory stuff.</p><p>Since some people seem to really like it, I'm debating on extending it to be a couple more chapters. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fatcr0w](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatcr0w/gifts).



“Traitor!” 

Finn turned. He knew that voice; He knew it well. He could see the anger in the Storm Trooper's movements as the man strode towards him. He backed away, but there was no running. The rage was palpable, and Finn knew it was warranted. He deserved this rage, but he wasn't going to let it stop him. He had to get to Rey before it was too late. He engaged his lightsaber as the Trooper whipped open the extension of his own weapon.

\-----

The anxiety was filling the pit of Finn's stomach as if the goulash they were served for breakfast was still boiling hot. He didn't like meeting new people to begin with, and here he was reassigned to a new division. He wasn't working well with his old division; In fact, that was an understatement. They all sort of hated him. He had a hard time keeping up with the rest of them. While they were fervently trying to break bones and bruise skin, he couldn't find it in himself to hurt his fellow trainees.

Captain Phasma had given him permission to observe the trainees for the first half hour of morning routines. She claimed if he was smart enough he'd be able to observe how the unit worked and fit in just fine. He wasn't so sure, though, and he knew she didn't think he'd be smart enough. 

“FN-2187.” 

Finn jumped. He hadn't even seen (or heard for that matter) Captain Phasma approach him. “Yes Captain?” 

“You've watched enough. I hope you were paying close attention.” She paused and regarded her division. “Trainees! Grab a sparring partner and begin your stretches.” Her helmet turned towards Finn and he flinched. “Well?” she asked, her voice quite calm. “Grab a partner.” Just as Finn was about to leave, she grabbed a fistful of his tunic. “You aren't a disobedient solider, and you aren't as pathetic a fighter as you pretend to be. Don't disappoint me.” 

Finn scurried off as soon as he was released. He didn't want to disappoint her. He wanted to prove himself as a trooper, but...he wanted to do it without having to hurt anyone. 

“Hey.” 

Finn jumped for what felt like the thirtieth time that day. He turned to face the person that had addressed him. It was a man. He was tall and fair with long hair that was pulled back into a bun. Loose strands cascaded over his face and shoulders and stuck to his sweat-sticky skin. “Hi,” he said. “Uhm...do you have a partner?”

“Nope.” The man grinned and held out his hand. “TR-8R. You're FN-2187 right? New to our division?”

“Yeah.” Finn rubbed the back of his head. “I'm a little nervous.” Crap- Did he just admit that? His peers could be vultures and they'd jump on an opportunity to impress their Captain with easy bait. 

“That's understandable,” TR-8R said. “I'll go easy on you- promise. I'll let you take me down and the Captain might not be so hard on you from here on out.” 

Finn frowned. “You'd do that for me?” 

TR-8R winked at him. “Doesn't mean I'm gonna go _that_ easy on you. Give it your best and right at the end you can take me down, okay?”

Finn was skeptical. He decided he wasn't going to let his guard down around this new peer, but he wasn't about to throw away such a rare kindness. If TR-8R really was just being nice, it wasn't something Finn wanted to risk losing. 

Captain Phasma instructed for their sparring to begin and her slow, deliberate steps echoed through the training hall. It was a good twenty minutes of intense combat before she finally stopped beside Finn and TR-8R. She didn't speak or move, just watched. 

TR-8R grabbed Finn's arm suddenly, twisting it up so they were eye to eye. His frost-blue eyes looked determined, almost aggressive, but they quickly softened and he winked again. His grip faltered and Finn saw his opportunity. He flipped TR-8R onto his back and came down on him, pinning his arms in an X between their chests. 

Captain Phasma's chin tilted up. She was quiet for a long time before she stepped towards Finn. “TR-8R is the best in his class. I'm surprised.” And with that, she was turning on her heel and on to the next pair. 

Finn pushed himself back up, confused. “...Was that-” 

TR-8R stopped him in his tracks. “That was great! I don't think she's ever complimented someone like that before.” 

“...That was a compliment?” 

TR-8R grinned. “Sure it was. Good job. We should celebrate!” 

“Celebrate?” Finn asked. 

“Sure!-” 

“Boys!” Captain Phasma snapped. Finn and TR-8R both stood at attention. “Back to work.” 

“Yes, Captain. Sorry Captain,” the two said in unison. 

“Recruits, fall into your assigned groups.”

TR-8R looked hesitant to leave. “I'll stop by your barracks tonight.” 

Before Finn could so much as blink, TR-8R was gone.

***

After classes and training and dinner was all said and done, Finn finally had time to reflect on the day. Weird. That was the conclusion he came up with. He could hear SR-980 snoring in her bed not ten feet away and both BA-5 and BA-6 (twins) were half off their cots. BA-5 had his face pressed firmly against the cold floor while the lower half of him was just barely supported by the bed. He didn't understand how the freezing tiles didn't wake his peer up. Finn loathed even getting up to use the restroom in the middle of the night because it meant cold feet.

“FN-” 

Suddenly his mouth was covered, barely repressing a scream. When he finally oriented himself, he was staring back into a pair of piercing blue eyes. He relaxed significantly. 

“Geez manno. You're lucky I wasn't an enemy.” TR-8R paused. “We'll work on that in training.” He was whispering. It was kind of strange- a sort of controlled whisper. Finn was sure that even if the others had been awake, they wouldn't have heard him. He peered around the room and then stepped back, gesturing for Finn to follow. “C'mon.”

Finn stood. He was still wary to trust TR-8R, but he found himself enchanted by the man. He was handsome and charming, a deadly combination, but something Finn knew he was weak against. “Where are we-”

“Shh-” TR-8R pressed his finger to Finn's lips, stopping him in his tracks. “Just follow me. You can ask when we get there.” 

“But then I won't need to-” 

“I said shh-” Normally Finn would've been annoyed at the persistence, but then TR-8R turned and he was grinning his pretty grin. Finn was overcome.

He followed TR-8R down corridors he didn't even know existed for what felt like forever. They finally reached a hatch Finn wouldn't have noticed on his own and TR-8R turned towards him. He looked apprehensive. “I trust you a lot Finn.” Finn wanted to ask why. They'd only just met. “That's why I'm trusting you with this, okay?”

Finn didn't speak. He couldn't speak. He just nodded. “Sure- Yeah. Anything. You can trust me with anything.” 

TR-8R smiled. “I know,” he said. He pushed open the hatch and jumped down the small hole before disappearing into dakrness. Finn heard him land maybe ten feet below. He stared, but didn't move. “Jump!” TR-8R yelled. 

“I don't want to.” Finn backed away. “Too small, too dark, I might sprain my ankle.” You might kill me down there. “No way.”

TR-8R didn't respond. “You're scared?”

“A little.”

He could nearly hear how disgruntled TR-8R was in the silence. “You're in a giant ship in the middle of space. A tight dark space is the last thing you should worry about.” 

Finn rolled his eyes. “I don't want to.” 

More silence. “Hey,” TR-8R said. 

“What?”

“Just trust me okay.” 

Finn didn't know why he should. He didn't know this man and just because he was charmed, didn't mean he should put his own safety on the line- So why in the big black universe was he poising to jump? He was falling before he could stop himself. 

TR-8R caught him as he landed and laughed. “Nice one!” He shoved him back by the shoulders and looked at him. “Alright let's go.” He started walking and Finn instinctively seized his hand. TR-8R stopped and turned. “It's dark,” Finn said, as if the answer to the unspoken question was obvious. TR-8R made a face like he understood and kept walking. 

They reached the end of a short corridor and Finn ran into TR-8R's back as they came to an abrupt stop. “Okay. We're here.” He flicked a toggle on the wall and the hatch suddenly flooded with light. 

“Woah!” Finn covered his eyes “Wow...bright...” His vision was blurry, but when he finally managed to keep his eyes open and the fog faded he was honestly surprised. “Woah. Where'd you get all this stuff?” 

TR-8R smiled and walked from thing to thing. It was filled to the brim with rations and luxury items he was almost certain TR-8R wasn't permitted to have. 

“Where'd you get all this stuff?” Finn asked again, shuffling through a box of chocolates. He wanted to try some, but thought it would be rude to ask. 

TR-8R watched him. “Want some?” he asked. He popped the top off a bottle and dropped criss-cross onto a mat on the floor. 

Finn's eyes widened and he nodded, grabbing a fair portion of the small round treats. He turned and popped a handful into his mouth. His eyebrows quirked at TR-8R's smirk. “Wha?” he asked around his mouthful of treats.

“I meant do you want some of the wine,” TR-8R held up the bottle. “But how do you like the chocolate.” 

Finn felt his face heat up. Crap. He swallowed the chocolates with difficulty and sat down, wiping his mouth. “Sorry- I've just never...I've only ever seen chocolate before.” 

“Don't apologize. It's really cute. You're pretty uhm....” TR-8R looked up. “Don't take this the wrong way, but you're pretty innocent.” 

Finn frowned. “No I'm not.” He grabbed the wine bottle as it was offered to him and, as if to prove a point, took a large drink. Once the taste actually hit him though, his face screwed up. “Eugh- It's good.” 

TR-8R raised an eyebrow and laughed the kind of laugh that comes from deep inside your belly. He shook his head and took another drink for himself. “You're pretty weird, you know that FN.” 

Finn frowned. “I don't think so. I could say the same about you.”

“Oh yeah?” TR-8R widened his eyes and tilted his chin up. “Try me. In what ways?” 

Finn felt weird being put on the spot suddenly, but he smiled despite himself. “I don't know. You just are. You're being all...nice to me and stuff.” 

“Nice people are weird to you?” TR-8R asked. “Then I guess that makes you pretty weird too.” 

“See! That's what I'm saying.” Finn could feel the heat in his cheeks increasing. “You- you like...let me show off in front of Captain Phasma even though it made you look bad- and how'd you know where my barrack was? And uh- I don't know. You act like you have all this trust in me and we don't even know each other.” 

TR-8R hummed. “I guess some of that is true.” 

“And you have all this stuff hidden down here! How'd you even get any of this stuff?” 

TR-8R took another swig from the bottle and looked away. “You remember anything about your family manno?”

Finn hunkered down and put another chocolate in his mouth. “No. Nothing.”

“I do.” TR-8R said. “I remember a lot about my family.” 

Finn shifted uncomfortably. “Listen. TR-8R-” 

“My name's Ethan.” TR-8R put the bottle down and pulled his knees up. “I remember what my mom's voice sounds like. And I had an older sister.” He reached into his black sleep shirt and pulled out a locket. “She gave me this.” 

Finn took it and looked inside. It was really small. Maybe the size of his thumb and he had to squint to see the pictures inside. “Me when I was younger-” TR-8R said, pointing to one half. “And my sister.” He pointed to the other half.

“How do you have this?” Finn asked. “They don't let us take belongings when they take- er...recruit us.” 

“I smuggled it,” TR-8R said proudly. “I came from a family of smugglers. Best in the business my mom always used to say. She could smuggle a fighter jet through a two foot wide corridor I shit you not.” 

Finn tilted his head. “But...how'd you smuggle it...they search us pretty thoroughly?” 

“I swallowed it,” TR-8R said. “They don't do body scans until a week after we're recruited so I already had it back by then.”

Finn squinted. “But how-” He paused and dropped the locket. “Oh- Geez. Sorry. That's...” He picked the locket back up and handed it over. “That's pretty gross.” 

TR-8R laughed. “Hey. You weren't complaining when you were eating that chocolate.” Finn paled and the blonde quickly waved his hands. “No, no. I'm joking please don't throw up in here.” 

Finn stuck his tongue out in disgust. “That's gross!” He laughed and whacked at TR-8R who held his arms up in defense. 

“I'm sorry I couldn't resist. I used different smuggling methods for this stuff.” 

“Which are?” 

“Hah. Like I'd just give them up that easily. Then I'd be out of a job.” TR-8R winked and set his bottle down. “Some of the Captains are my best customers you know.”

“What? No way.”

“Yeah way.”

A comfortable silence settled between them. The only sounds that filled the air were TR-8R's boots as he tapped, and Finn chewing on his fingernails. Finn felt bad cutting through the hollow air, but there was too much nagging at him. “So uh...before you mentioned you trust me and stuff. But...why? We barely know each other.” 

TR-8R smiled. “I thought you'd never ask. You were about four when you were recruited right?” 

Finn looked slightly incredulous. “...Yeah. How do you know that? How do you know so much about me.” 

“I was seven when I was recruited. Usually they don't recruit older kids cus they're more likely to go resist conditioning, but I dunno...they took me and some other older kids for some reason. We ended up in the same haul. The ship went planet to planet on different missions before reporting back to the first order. You were on the ship before I was All the other kids were crying, kind of disoriented because they hadn't been in space before. I took the opportunity to swallow my locket. I looked over there and you were just staring at me with like...this weirdly expressionless face. You weren't crying or anything. The Captain in charge walked over not one second later and asked why I was huddled over in the corner. When I didn't answer him he looked directly at you and grabbed your arm real rough like demanding you tell him why. You looked scared, but you just told him I missed my momma and didn't feel well.”

Finn listened, the expression on his face was unsure. It was weird to hear stories about him that he didn't remember. He'd never experienced a past he couldn't recall before. He trusted TR-8R though. Why wouldn't he? Sure they'd just met, but it seemed like the man felt he owed Finn some kind of debt. 

“He threw you down and stalked off after that. I wanted to ask your name, but they separated all of us. I saw you a couple times years later. Our lunch shifts were staggered. Your division first, then mine, but you always left so quickly I couldn't get to you. I asked around. Some people knew you. They said you were too good. Whatever that was supposed to mean.” TR-8R laughed. “'That's FN-2187. He won't last long.' That's what they'd say. I clocked one of them right in the jaw. It started a whole thing. I got put on probation. The Captain's said they liked my spunk, but I better save it for training.” 

“You did all that for me?” Finn asked. And all this time he'd been completely oblivious. He didn't even know TR-8R existed until now. 

“I mean...nah...it was mostly for me. I wanted to know you. A lotta your division-mates called you weak,” TR-8R said. Finn looked away. “But I know you're not. You're strong and brave. And you have something most of those bastards don't.” 

Finn shifted. “And what's that?” 

“Compassion,” TR-8R said. “You didn't lose it with all the training and classes and conditioning. Not like the rest of us.”

“You're the best in your division though,” Finn justified. “And you've been really nice to me.” 

“Would you leave the Storm Troopers if you had the chance?” TR-8R asked suddenly. 

Finn flinched. “I- Uh...I mean no. Of course not.” 

“Finn.” TR-8R looked desperate.

Finn bit his lip. “Maybe. I don't know...Yeah. If I could I would.” 

“I wouldn't,” TR-8R said. “I know Storm Troopers kill innocent people and I know a lot of people say we're bad bad, but I don't care. I like belonging to something. I like being part of all of...this-” He gestured vaguely and Finn finally noticed how pink his cheeks were. “No matter how fucked up it is I wouldn't trade it for...freedom, I guess. I don't know.” He drank the rest of the wine and Finn eyed it. It had been full and he'd only taken one drink. 

“Alright...maybe we should get you back to your barrack.” Finn wrapped one arm around TR-8R's neck waist and helped him up.

“You won't leave will you? Even if you had the chance?” TR-8R asked. 

“Sure. I won't. I promise.” Finn wasn't really listening at this point. He was mostly concerned with getting TR-8R back in his bed. The blonde was going to have a very rude awakening come morning training. 

He managed to get them both out of the hatch and back towards the barracks without incident even though TR-8R was being quite loud. “Do you know how fucked up it is,” TR-8R murmured. 

“...What do you mean?” Finn asked. 

“My number! My number! They gave me, the identification they gave me. TR-8R. It's so fucked up.” He shook his head as they passed the trainee barrack threshold. 

“Shh, you have to be quiet now or we'll get in trouble.” 

“TR-8R, manno. TR-8R. Tr-eight-or. Traitor! I'm not a traitor, but that's what they call me. And they laugh because they think it's soooooo funny.” 

Finn barely caught his new friend as he stumbled forward. “You're not a traitor, okay? I know you're not, you know you're not, and your superiors know your not so who cares what anyone else thinks?” 

“I hate traitors.” 

“I know you do buddy.” 

“This one,” TR-8R said, pointing lazily to a door. 

Finn carefully fingered the num-pad until it opened, then helped TR-8R back to his bed. He kneeled beside him and whispered so TR-8R's roommates wouldn't be woken. “You drank a lot. You should probably try to get as much sleep as you can.” 

TR-8R patted Finn's cheek. “Thanks manno.” He placed his hand fully on the other's cheek, grinning. “Your skin's really soft.” 

Finn shifted awkwardly. “Uh. Thanks?” 

“C'mere I have to tell you something.” TR-8R gestured for Finn to come closer. Finn leaned in. “I really like you manno.”

“I really like you too,” Finn said, smiling. He'd never really had a friend before. It felt nice. 

TR-8R grabbed Finn's shoulders and pulled him in so close their lips made contact- Shit. A kiss. It was a kiss. Finn didn't reciprocate, but he didn't pull away. Mostly, his eyes widened and he was frozen from shock. When TR-8R pulled away his eyes were closed and he looked half dead. “Night manno.” 

He was out in seconds, leaving Finn alone with his thoughts. “Uh...night.”

***

The next morning when breakfast shift rolled around, Finn sought TR-8R out. He wanted to make sure he was okay after...the night before. He was surprised when he found him. He looked as elegant as he had the day before. “Morning TR-8R.”

“Morning FN-2187.” TR-8R smiled at him and the skin around his blue eyes crinkled. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Great! How about you?”

Finn hesitated. “Not as good as you apparently.” 

“I'm an early riser,” TR-8R said. 

“Apparently.” Finn rubbed the back of his head. “I mean...do you even remember...anything?” 

“Of course I do,” TR-8R said. “Why wouldn't I?” 

Finn looked at him skeptically. “Uh...sure.” He started to walk to the breakfast line to get his own tray, but TR-8R caught his sleeve. 

“Hey. Thanks by the way. I know we were supposed to be celebrating for you, but it kinda turned into a whole thing about my own feelings. It was probably kinda weird for you.” 

“Yeah a little I guess.” Finn let out a breathy laugh. 

“Well I appreciate it.” TR-8R dropped his voice low so nobody else could hear. “And did you mean what you said?”

Finn laughed. He'd practically forgotten everything with how odd and disorienting the whole experience was. “About what?”

“You won't leave The First Order? You'll stay here with me?” 

Finn wasn't sure why TR-8R was so adamant on convincing him. Finn really had nowhere else to go even if he wanted to. “I promise, okay? Where would I even go?” He laughed again and clapped a hand on TR-8R's shoulder. “As far as I'm concerned we're friends now. I wouldn't abandon you.”

\-----

But he did. He watched as his division mercilessly gunned down innocent villagers at the command of their superiors. None of them hesitated- None except for him. Not even TR-8R.

He knew he had to leave and he knew doing so would break his promise, but what other options did he have? If he stayed they'd recondition him and he knew, just like the rest of them, that no one came back from reconditioning the same. 

His only hope was the resistance pilot they'd captured. If he helped the man escape, then he wouldn't have to kill innocent people; He'd be free.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think to say "this really got away from me" is kind of an understatement at this point. It is really like me to get this carried away with a character that had 15 seconds of screen time though...
> 
> Also I feel a bit like I'm writing inception. Backstory inside backstory inside backstory inside......

“Traitor!” 

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. The tears were already welling in his eyes. He'd hoped. When he heard that FN-2187 was possibly on-planet in the mission statement, he'd hoped. He planned what he'd say when he saw Finn again. He practiced it in the mirror again and again and again. “Why?” “Was it my fault?” “You promised.” “You said you wouldn't betray The First Order. (Me).” But those words were just sounds that he didn't recognize now. Traitor was what came out instead. It didn't matter though because he was bringing Finn back home where he belonged. With his friends. With his superiors. And most importantly, back with him.

\-----

Ethan squinted at the two suns in the sky. One was scarlet, the other crimson. He learned those colors from his sister who schooled him a couple hours every day while their mother worked for old Mr. Préz'ti. He sighed and heaved himself from crouching to standing. “104 days.”

“104?” 

“Ah!” Ethan jumped back and reeled around, startled by the response. He thought he was alone but when he finally got his bearings back about him, his tension eased. “Oh. Hi Tavier.” 

Tavier was taller than him by almost half a foot even though he was only four and Ethan was seven. His momma told him that he and Tavier were the same age developmentally, but Tavier's species aged faster like his puppy who grew up really fast. Ethan smiled at him and Tavier's long clawed fingers tangled in the back of his hair then scratched. “Hello my pretty boy. What is 104?” 

“Oh!” Ethan carefully shook his hair from Tavier's claws and held his hands out to reveal a piece of charcoal and parchment pad. “104 days since my papa left. He's gonna come home soon.” 

Tavier smiled and exposed all his crooked up and down teeth. They were pointy like some of the animals he saw at the market and it almost seemed like they didn't fit in his mouth too well. Ethan liked them. Tavier swore he could tear someone's throat out if he really wanted to (but of course he didn't really want to). Rows of scales glistened underneath Tavier's eye as the setting suns hit them just so. Ethan always thought the scales were really cool; And how his eyes were yellow where they should be white and the black parts were really long instead of round like his. “Trézi says he's not coming home.” Trézi was the Askïan word for Papa. His papa's papa was old Mr. Préz'ti. 

Ethan bristled. “Yes he is coming home! He promised me.” 

“Are you talking about your _mudak_ papa again Yuri?” 

Ethan turned and immediately lit up. “Momma!” He ran to her and jumped in her arms. She caught him, though with some difficulty. He was a small boy, but she was an old and tired woman. She set him back on his feet and then nestled his hair. “I told you don't call me Yuri! My name is Ethan!” 

“Your _urod_ papa named you Ethan. I named you Yuri. You are my little Yuri.” She kissed his cheeks and forehead over and over and Ethan let out a long groan. “Your papa is looking for you Tavier. Thank you for keeping this little trouble maker company.” 

“I'm not a trouble maker!” Ethan protested.

“Of course you aren't. Now go wash those dirty little hands of yours. I will be starting supper soon.” She walked back off towards their quarter house, leaving Tavier and Ethan back alone. 

“Yuri?” Tavier laughed. “You know in my language Yuri means-”

“I know what it means! Don't laugh at me!” Ethan huffed and crossed his arms. “My momma's just mad at my papa now but when he comes back it'll be okay like it was before.” 

Tavier ran his fingers through Ethan's hair again, frowning. “Okay,” he said, then turned and left without even saying bye.

\-----

“Okay Finn it's your turn.”

“I don't really want to play this game guys.” 

“Oh come on don't be such a lightweight. Marry, bed, kill. Uhmm...Captain Phasma, Zeroes, or Tr8r.” 

“Don't call me that.” 

“Come on TR he's just joking.” 

TR-8R rubbed the palms of his hands against the sockets of his eyes with an exasperated sigh. He'd never catch a break. “Next person to call me that can answer to the business end of a blaster.” 

Nines rolled his eyes. “It's not even your turn. Let Finn answer.”

“Do I have to?” 

TR-8R knew Finn well enough by now. He didn't like these games. He didn't like participating in a playful group like this. In fact, it seemed like he didn't like many things. No- That was unfair. It wasn't that he didn't like them, it was simply that it made him uncomfortable. He didn't feel like he belonged and TR-8R didn't think Finn belonged either. He liked to picture them as a pair. FN-2187 and TR-8R. It rolled off the tongue. You couldn't say one without the other. You rarely even saw one without the other. Part of him wished Finn made friends with the other troopers as easily as he did, but another part of him was grateful he didn't. 

“Yes you have to,” Zeroes drawled.

“No he-” Doesn't. TR-8R almost said. Luckily his words were lost in the tumult. His name was on the list, he realized. 

“Kill Zeroes.” 

“Hey- What!” 

“Shh.” Finn was quiet and thoughtful. It was just like him to contemplate even this so deep and logically. “Frankly I'm a little terrified of Captain Phasma so bed her, and marry TR.” 

“Thank you,” TR-8R said proudly with a beaming smile and gentle nod. 

“I wonder what Captain Phasma's like in bed,” Nines mused, deflating the tense air. 

“Ask her yourself,” Zeroes said, gesturing down the hall.

They all stood at attention when they noticed the chrome armor swaggering towards them. She was so tall and her steps were so deliberate, the trainees had a bet on whether she was actually a robot or not. Nines claimed he'd seen her without her helmet off before, but nobody really believed him. “Trainees,” she said. “Leisure time is over. Get back to work.” 

After a chorus of “Yes Captain!”'s, they all split off. Zeroes nudged TR-8R. Unfortunately they were headed in the same direction. “What's up with you and 87?” 

“What do you mean?” Deliberate avoidance. TR-8R knew exactly what Zeroes meant.

“Are you guys like...” Zeroes gestured vaguely. 

“Why do you care?” 

“I don't know.” He sounded agitated at how much TR-8R was dodging the question. “It doesn't really matter, but-” 

“You're right. It doesn't really matter, so don't worry about it.” He pinched Zeroes' nose and laughed loud from the pit of his stomach as he sauntered off. He could practically feel the daggers of Zeroes' glare on his back. Honestly, he wasn't just being petulant; He didn't want to admit that his relationship with Finn was painfully platonic. 

It wasn't like he wasn't putting in the effort. Any chance he got he'd tell Finn how much he liked him. “I really like you,” he'd say. And Finn would smile and reply, “I really like you too. You're my best friend.” 

He didn't put it past Finn for being completely oblivious to his advances. A lot of troopers seemed to just ooze asexuality. That's kind of just what happened when you're raised without any sort of sexual stimulus. TR-8R, on the other hand, had been old enough to remember the questionable vids old Mr. Préz'ti would watch. When he and Tavier peeked through the windows, Tavier would grin his toothy smile and say “We will do that some day.” As a child, TR-8R highly doubted he'd ever do anything that weird. He didn't even really understand what exactly it was. Present TR-8R, however, was on the completely opposite end of the spectrum. 

“-Might be time for him to return to his own cadre.”

TR-8R stopped in his tracks. That was Captain Phasma's voice. He could have sworn she went the opposite direction- then again maybe he'd walked in a circle. He wasn't really paying attention to where he was headed. He was mostly just lost in thought. It was better for him to turn now and leave her to whatever business she was attending. 

“FN-2187 you mean?” General Hux's voice. 

Suddenly, TR-8R was up against a wall (literally), hiding. 

Captain Phasma continued. “He's excelled in the TR cadre. He and the top student of that class get on well-”

“You mean the Traitor?” 

TR-8R rolled his eyes. He could practically hear the smile in General Hux's voice. He at least thought his superiors were above making stupid jokes like that. Sometimes it sent him into a cold sweat. What if someone started to believe it one day? 

“Yes, TR-8R. I expressed concern to you some time ago when FN-2187 joined the TR cadre that it might not be a good fit.” 

“Ah, yes. I remember. Because TR-8R was allowing him victories. You never spoke of it again so I assumed the situation resolved itself.”

TR-8R frowned, biting his lip. Crap. Of course Captain Phasma noticed. 

“It did,” Captain Phasma said. “TR-8R went slightly harder on him every sparring period until finally FN-2187 was using the extent of his skill. Now his victories are true ones, and he doesn't hesitate when sparring with his other peers either. He's even formed bonds with some of his FN counterparts it seems. He's still distant, but his leadership abilities are remarkable.”

“So you think he should be moved back into the FN cadre where he belongs?” 

“Yes,” Captain Phasma affirmed. 

“So be it then. We'll make the move post-haste.” 

TR-8R broke away before the two could see him. So Finn was being moved back to the FN cadre. He felt his heart sink. That meant less time with his friend. It was good news for Finn though. He decided to go find him. 

Finn wasn't hard to find. He was a creature of habit and often had a strict schedule which TR-8R knew well now. 'Obsessive' is what Zeroes said. 'Affectionate' is how Slip saw it. Nines would just laugh and tell them to fuck already (but never to Finn's face). 

“Listen-” Slip's boisterous laughter filled the kitchen. “Okay so a rebel X-pilot and a Riot Control Storm Trooper walk into a bar and-” 

“Hey can I borrow FN for a second?” 

Finn and Slip both looked up. Finn smiled as soon as he saw TR-8R's face and TR-8R's heart nearly melted on the spot. “What a surprise,” Finn said. 

TR-8R didn't know if he was being sarcastic or not, but he didn't really care all the same. “Can you give us some privacy Slip?”

“Sure,” Slip slipped off the counter top and hurried off. 

“Was he keeping you company or just making you do all the work?”

Finn looked at his mop and rubbed the back of his head. “Little bit of both I guess.” He grinned as TR-8R shook his head. 

“You're too nice. You can't always do everyone's work for them you know.” He felt a little pang of jealousy because he knew Finn didn't just do everyone's work for them. Most of the time, Slip was the main culprit. He knew they were friends and that wasn't necessarily what bothered him- it was mostly that Finn often stuck his neck out for the little screw-up. 

“I know,” Finn said. “But this really is a one person job.” He shrugged. “I think Slip would've been an entertainer if he wasn't part of The First Order.” They both looked around nervously on instinct. 

“Maybe,” TR-8R said. He turned back to Finn, beaming. “You'll never guess what I just heard~” 

Finn didn't look excited or curious, he mostly looked suspicious. “What?” 

“I was eavesdropping on Captain Phasma and General Hux-”

“How?” 

“Oh you know.” TR-8R waved it off. It wasn't necessarily hard. For how much of a presence he had, he could match it just as easily with stealth. Not to mention the two were kind of distracted and TR-8R may or may not have been in an area trainees were not permitted to be in, but that was besides the point. 

“I know a certain someone that might be promoted to Squad Captain in the near future.” TR-8R bounced on his heels, grinning wider. 

Finn snorted. “Oh yeah? Good for you.” 

TR-8R frowned again. “No. You. Idiot.” 

Finn looked genuinely surprised. “Me? But I had to be transferred to a new cadre because I wasn't as good as the rest of my division. They pretty much hated me up until I met you.” 

TR-8R scoffed. “FN come on.” 

Finn's confusion deepened. “Come on what?” 

“Your cadre hated you because you're smarter than them.” 

Finn laughed. “Come on TR.” 

“I'm serious! I'm sure you were regarded as the top of your class.” 

“But my One-to-One skills were terrible and sparring period is the most important. Nines even stopped halfway through one of our spars and complained that I wasn't doing it right.” Finn rubbed the back of his head. 

TR-8R snorted. “Oh I see Anxious Ann.” He pinched Finn's cheek. “You're so cute. They hated you because you didn't just throw yourself at them like they do. You really think and you wear them out and it's frustrating because they're not as smart as you.” TR-8R seated himself on the counter with a proud smile. 

Finn raised his eyebrows. “You seem really proud of yourself.” 

“I am. And you don't have to believe me, but you'll be feeling pretty bad about doubting me when you get promoted.” 

“Sure.” Finn laughed and continued mopping the floor. 

They were quiet for awhile before TR-8R spoke again. “They're gonna transfer you back to the FN cadre.” 

Finn looked over at him. “Oh yeah?” 

“That's what they said.” 

“That's too bad. I'm gonna miss having you as my sparring partner.” 

TR-8R felt his heart lurch and he kicked his legs to distract himself. “I mean it's not like you're going away forever, right?” 

“Yeah, but we won't get to see each other as much and that sucks. You're my best friend TR.” Finn looked over at him. From his peripheral, TR-8R could see Finn's smile turn to a frown. “What's wrong? You look sad.” 

“I'm just thinking about not seeing you as much.” 

Finn leaned his mop against the counter and straddled TR-8R's legs with both hands. TR-8R stopped kicking and looked up at him from under his lashes. “You see me now, right? We're hanging out now, right? Don't worry about something in the future that probably won't even happen.” 

TR-8R smiled, but it was pathetic at best and didn't fool Finn. He leaned forward and kissed Finn's lips. It was pretty simple. Just a peck, like one you'd give your grandma. 

After a moment Finn pulled away. His expression was naive, but TR-8R loved it regardless. “You're weird,” he said. 

TR-8R rolled his eyes. “You say that like every day.” 

Finn grinned and took up his mopping again. Another silence fell. 

“Hey FN?”

“Yeah TR?” 

“Say Captain Phasma came up to you and said 'You're too good. You should leave right now.' Would you leave?”

Finn could barely hide his incredulous smile. “Captain Phasma would never say that.” 

“It's a hypothetical for a reason. Just say she did.” TR-8R hopped off the counter and leaned his elbow on it. “Would you leave?”

Finn sighed. “I don't know how many times I have to tell you I'm not going anywhere, but I'm not going anywhere TR.” 

TR-8R danced around him, trying to meet his gaze. “Okay, but how do you feel about The First Order? Remember when I told you I'd never leave even if I could? I like being part of something like this, right? It's like a family, isn't it?” 

“Yeah,” Finn said, though he suddenly seemed unreasonably interested in his work. “I like it too. I'm loyal to The First Order, if that's what you're asking.” 

“I know you're a loyal person,” TR-8R said. “Don't get me wrong. Sometimes I'm just worried...” he trailed off and scratched his cheek. “Never mind.” 

He was already skirting towards the door when Finn suddenly grabbed either side of his face and stared him dead in the eyes. “I'm not leaving you TR. I'm not leaving The First Order. I like it here. I'm happy here. Okay?” 

TR-8R felt a weird mixture of shame and guilt. “Okay.” 

Finn smiled and smacked both his cheeks, making TR-8R scrunch up his face. “Don't you have a job you should be pretending to do?” 

TR-8R chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah I guess I do. I'll see ya later FN.” 

“See ya TR.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still only at the beginning of Before the Awakening, so I hope there's nothing too contradictory hahaha.
> 
> Thank you guys again for the wonderful comments and all the kudos! I'm on break from school right now and after a really stressful semester, it's really cathartic writing something from a canon universe but that I have almost complete creative control over. This was so disgustingly self-indulgent, but when I saw that people were interested in/liked my take on this guy, I was truly overjoyed! <3

**Author's Note:**

> (Whew I just re-read through this and some of the grammar is off, but I was basically struck with inspiration late at night and was up until 5 AM writing so forgive me u_u
> 
> And as an aside to this aside- WOW. Thanks so much for the support everyone. I really was just writing this self-indulgently, but even a little bit of encouragement really means so much. Okay now it's New Years, 3 AM, and I'm sick as a dog so even this is probably not very cohesive ;-; 
> 
> Anywho, thank you so much!)


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